My name is Dr. Sol Gordon. I’m Professor Emeritus of Syracuse University, and I have traveled around the world and have spoken in every state of the Union. I’ve written 28 books and 100 articles, and my books are translated in six or seven different languages.

What are the key points of your presentation?
Are you an askable parent? We are encouraging parents to be the sex educators of their children. If a child asks you a question, say “thanks for asking me this question, it’s a very important question.” Knowledge is not harmful, ignorance is harmful, and that’s why parents need to be the sex educators of their children. If your child comes to you for help, remember that the child needs help – children make mistakes, and it’s time for the parents to turn mistakes into lessons. That’s the key question, and it’s very important for parents to answer all of the questions. If you don’t know the answer, go to the library and find out what the answer is.

What is Mitzvah Therapy?
Sometimes psychotherapy and pharmaceutical industries don’t work, and I have created another therapy called Mitzvah therapy. It’s being helpful to other people. A woman came to see me – she was abused by her father and her mother didn’t believe her. She’d been in psychoanalysis for five years. She felt miserable, she wanted me to do psychotherapy. And I said “look, in five years you must have learned something about psychotherapy.” She said “if you don’t see me, I’ll commit suicide.” So I said “I’ll see you!” What I said was I had a new therapy, it’s called Mitzvah therapy. You’ve been abused? Go to an institution for abused children and help out. And she came back after a month – she said she’d never been so happy in her life, the children loved her, she loved the children, and she did very good work there. So that’s Mitzvah therapy – helping people. It’s not giving charity – you have to directly help another person.

Why do you think this type of therapy is so effective?
Well, people feel sometimes that they are useless, they can’t be helpful to anybody else. And if they can be helpful to someone else, it’s very therapeutic.

Closing Statements…
Let me tell you another story. I was in a meeting with at-risk professionals, and it was at a detention home for juvenile delinquents. And the meeting was very boring, so I insisted that I talk to the children, to the juvenile delinquents. After I talked, one of the kids said “can I ask you a question?” I said “yes, of course.” “My father used to beat the hell out of me – it wouldn’t matter how irrelevant it was. He said he did it because he loved me. Do you think my father really loved me?” And I said “no. That’s not the way to respond to a relationship.” So he said “what do you think I ought to do about it?” And I said “take revenge!” And the audience was hysterical – they said “we believe in forgiveness, we’re not into revenge, throw him out!” And I said “give me one minute of your time.” And somebody stood up and said “you have one minute.” And I said “look – when you grow up, and you have children of your own, never hit them. That will be your revenge. Revenge is living well.” And that’s a very good idea. People who are at-risk don’t understand forgiveness. They want to take revenge. And if we give the revenge a different definition, living well is the best revenge. Not to identify with the aggressor, not to do the same thing that was done unto you. That’s your revenge.